LimitedI'm been troubled by thoughts, feelings from everybody else. Everything and evrybody I see before my eyes are some what selfish! Is it okay to feel this and go on with our lives? If so...even so....do I what to be this thing called "human"? Such feelings resides within us all. To feel narrow minded and troubled by these feelings....Why?! In the long run I feel limited within all this. Having such feelings only troubles me in everyday life. It just only makes my head hurt even more...I pay attention too much....I wish this feeling will go away. But I no wasteful wishing will not come by me. If my wish were to come true...then all man will disappear right before my eyes right?! Just disappear just like that along with everything. I feel doomed to live this life....this unknown thing that I still doubt til this day.
I only feel limited....no matter how much I think about are we as human trully different of the same?! Why do we judge others so easily?! Why...why are we like this?
It saddens me to think we are all the same. No matter how much we try to change ourselves, we shall always be the same....The same thought...feelings just like everybody else right? Arn't we all equals? Or is it an other pretty word so nobody can't be left out. I really do hate this feeling...with all my heart. It feels like am going to sufficate in my own sorrows, my wondering thoughts. I guess that's what makes us human right? To feel this way among yourself and among others. Because of that....I hate myself with every fiber within my being. I hate it....and yet I love all just the same....Is it true the more your love the more you hate? When you love something you become attach right? Once lost that attachment and equal amount of dispare takes it's place....is it possble not to feel hate like this. I feel to feelings residing with in me....no many feelings boiling within me. Everything is just to painful to bare....
If am truly limited than....does that make me human? Normal? I wish not to give myself false hope upon myself. So many things pass by me.....always at the end I wish for the worst to befall me so I won't have to think about this all.
All of this feel so troubling at times like these no one will listen to me.....if I did get someone to listen to me, it always turns out to be the same ALWAYS!
.....................They pity me or they just forget what I just said and never talk to me about it.
heh.... evening writing this now, makes me pity myself. Funny isn't it? I really do hate this about me. I look to deep, I get details upon details and make sure they fit into one big jig-saw puzzle.
Heh....all I do now is complain....I guess am just empty...and feel alone...alone I say? am not sure, abandoned....yes. Or is this another selfish act.....which makes me limited?
I am human after all.......
Devious Comments
I've felt the same way, really...but I've always recovered...there's no reason not to recover...
I'd be very happy to talk to you on an Instant Messenger, email etc. I promise I won't act like the others or make you feel like you've been neglected...
To be honest, I view people as a sort of 'negative space', if you get my meaning. 'Negative space' is something that's been taught about in every art class of every type I've ever taken. It's basically the shapes that are made up by the edges of real objects, sort of like silhouettes. People's true forms are really just how they interact with things around them. It's the way 'special' people feel about them, what their room looks like, what they do in their free time... That's why I always write down my thoughts. That makes them that much more corporeal, and it's like adding another chunk of something to the real objects that make up the 'negative space' me. Every time I change something in the corporeal world, I change a part of myself, in effect. In that, everyone is the same. But also in that, anyone can make themselves as different as they like. It just depends on what they choose to change in the world around them. It's completely free...and unlimited.
Selfishness really has quite a bad rap. Really, isn't eating selfish? You're taking away from the animals or bacteria that would have it otherwise, aren't you? Isn't it selfish to share your ideas and expect people to listen? Loving is selfish, and hating is selfish, and wanting and needing and feeling...it's all really very selfish. But also necessary and not all bad. Trying to capture a scene all for yourself on a piece of parchment or an easel is selfish, but how many people have enjoyed looking at a landscape? Selfishness is only bad when it hurts another. How is what you're doing now hurting anyone?
You shouldn't hate yourself, and you shouldn't hate humans. We really do try our best, you know. ^_^ I think that watching people try their hardest is really very beautiful--don't you?
If you ever need to talk...well, I'm always here for you, dear.
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'Listen, Rosalie, my mind is not wandering! Spiderman has learned to travel in time. He's dangerous. I mean what I say.'
~Gabriel De Witt (Stealer of Souls [Mixed Magic] by Diana Wynne Jones)
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'Listen, Rosalie, my mind is not wandering! Spiderman has learned to travel in time. He's dangerous. I mean what I say.'
~Gabriel De Witt (Stealer of Souls [Mixed Magic] by Diana Wynne Jones)
I feel exactly the same as you.
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